Entry 010
7.7.2003 19:34 MDT
Wow, for the first time in too long I actually saw a real
city! With real buildings! I'm sitting in a McDonald's in Utah now, a good
70 miles from Salt Lake City. Mmm... One thing I love about corporate
owned fast food places is that you can expect the food to taste as it
always does; t e fries here taste as crappy as they do back in Illinois.
Just drove for a good... seven hours, pretty cool
actually. The bugs here don't splatter into the window, so it's a lot
easier on me. Oh, I guess I didn't write about this earlier--back in the
wilderness, when you're driving bugs constantly go suicide into the front
of the car. The radiator is covered with burned butterflies, and the
entire front has a layer of bug corpses. The most annoying thing is when
they hit the windshield. When they hit, they completely explode, leaving
nothing but bug blood that doesn't wash off. Very annoying but thankfully,
it doesn't happen here. Too hot probably--98 degrees last time I checked.
all the grass is yellow here, and everything seems to be tinted a bit
golden. Cool thing is, cell phones work in this hellish state--amazing!
But just because I'm not isolated doesn't mean that all is well; my
biggest disappointment is that we're not going to go into any cities;
we're just going to go more national parks and take more pictures.
Boooooooorrrring.
Oh yeah, I finally sent that post card to Crystl--I'm
proud of myself. I had to call her to get her address again. Probably
won't get to her till after I get back though. I already forgot what I
wrote on it... Probably just complaints. Bah, doesn't matter.
Oh yeah, I finally convinced my parents to get a family
membership at Lifetime. Score for me!
(ADDITIONAL ENTRYS: Added after returning home)
Entry 010a
7.8.2003 ??? MDT
I'm at the most amazing place I've ever seen--in the
deserts of Utah, at Canyon Lands national park. This place is so awesome!
First of all, its a huge plot of land with a lot desert and lots of
canyons--but let me explain why's its so cool.
At Canyon Lands, there's this place called Grand
Point--imagine this--you're on top of a plateau in the middle of a
desert--its so hot that you can't touch the sand that you're stepping on,
but the air seems cool. But the heat doesn't factor into your mind because
everything else is so amazing. Like I said, you're sitting on the top of a
plateau and you can see endless miles and miles of desert earth cracked
and lined by canyons. But it is quiet, and when you're not breathing,
there isn't a sound anywhere in the hundred miles or so that you can see.
If you listen REALLY closely, you might hear the wind howling against the
canyon walls 10 miles away, but besides that, the only thing that might
break the silence is the wind rustling through the wings of an osprey;
They don't even flap because the canyon walls seem to radiate hot air. But
just sitting there--it's impossible to understand without actually being
there. It's like the most serene peace you can even experience. Maybe only
comparable to being in space--such vastness, but such amazing peaceful. It
was so beautiful--I had never been so moved by a landscape before. It was
art. The thing is--the landscape is exactly what I imagined for the
New World story, the Zekari Coolies (where Teralia's race lives). I would
have loved to just be an osprey and jump off the canyon edge--to be caught
up in the canyon updraft--lifted up maybe 300 feet into the air. Amazing.
Entry 011
7.9.2003 14:19 MDT
Now that this trip is all but over, it’s time for some
reflection. But I don’t even need to analyze anything to come to the
conclusion that even though this trip had its high points, particularly
the desert scenery and the canyons, it was in no way worth the time,
money, or the loss of a digital video camera. Besides that, it definitely
wasn’t worth the emotional suffering that resulted from having to spend
9 days with my parents. It sucked. I mean, family time is cool (…) but
there are better places I could have used the money, better things I could
have done with the time, better people I could have done things with, and
better ideas I could have actually done. I’ve seriously gotten nothing
but regrets from this trip. I don’t feel a sense that I’ve learned
something, like I did when I go to museums, or a sense that I’ve
experienced anything grand, like I did when I went to Florida. [David Dai
just called, I told him of our movie plans—more about that in a second.]
I’m trying to debate right now if this trip was better
than doing nothing at all. The cost of the trip was substantial, nearly
$5000 for this crappy ass trip—I could have SO planned a better
vacation. Add the cost of the lost DV Cam ($800) then it goes up to a
point where it’s ridiculous. Like I said, the best part of the trip was
yesterday in the Utah desert, and the best thing I took back from the trip
are the pictures, nearly 800 of them. BUT, all in all, not worth all it
took. No way in hell was it worth it. And right about now, all I want is
to get back home so I can continue with my life.
I’m sitting in Denver International Airport right now,
waiting for our delayed plane. The weather in Chicago is apparently not
good for flying—thunderstorms and stuff—but I am dying to see that
weather. I would rather have the plane crash us in that weather than have
another “sunny and hot day.” Not a single damn day of rain the whole
trip. I want rain!! That’s how sad this is right now. I’d rather leave
this place so I can see a good thunderstorm.
I made a series of phone calls back home today, learned
some stuff, made some plans. Apparently I’ve missed nothing special,
except James’s party and little else. Jason’s been doing nothing for
the past few days, hanging with the Original Posse more, which is cool,
but it looks like I’m just going to be dropped into the life that I left
behind. Damn shame. I was hoping for a new world (no pun intended) when I
got back. I’m still trying to decide what to do with all the souvenirs
and presents that I’ve gotten (acquired). I didn’t really make any
considerations about what to do with them. Here’s a list of what I have:
l
Rocks… lots of rocks
l
Sand… lots of sand
l
A unisex “Courage” bracelet – cool looking but not
worth the money ($25—if had I paid for it), I actually don’t like how
it pinches the hairs on my wrist—I don’t think anyone would want to
wear it, even though it looks cool.
l
Some weird “floating jewel” thing
l
A Yellowstone bottle opener – this one I’ve already
decided that it’ll be for Jason
l
A “Cuss Bank” – I think this will go to Bhav
l
A weird looking dream catcher – I’m thinking I’ll
keep this one actually.
And… hmm, I don’t remember what else I have. I think
that might be it. The rocks are pretty cool actually, and I have pictures
of myself picking them up to prove that they are in fact from Yellowstone,
and Canyon Lands, and wherever else they may be from. So yeah, still
debating, still thinking I should have gotten more stuff, but they would
have cost money, and I’ll give the rocks to people who want a piece of
Yellowstone etc.
I’ve gotten more news about Jabali—apparently, his
parents have decided that they’re not going to let him back because
they’ve already paid for a year at VJ college. Sucks for him, and I
think our rescue operation has gone down the drain. There really isn’t
much we can do anymore. I’ve also gotten some belated news from P-La
that my mom has had suspicions that Priscilla was my girlfriend, and asked
Anubhav. Bhav smartly covered for me, and spoke the truth that Nick was
her boyfriend—but truthfully… I don’t think my mom would have cared
much either way.
It looks like Priscilla’s house is our new center of
operations—our new hang out place. Looks like our power is spreading—mwahaha!!!
Haj apparently had a flea attack—maybe because of P-La’s kittens, but
somehow I suspect that he probably had those fleas before his contact with
the cats. I love cats, too bad I was allergic to them. I’m not sure if I
still am… I hope not.
Anyway, plans. We’ve decided to go see Terminator 3
once I get back—probably later tonight. I’m glad that the Posse
actually waited (even though individuals went through mood swings, wanting
to go, and then now wanting to go—but overall, they didn’t go yet—so
good for me), I’ll actually have good people to go see it with.
This trip sucked… well actually, I learned a bunch of
little things about myself—like how I really am hypocritical sometimes,
and how I’m often dominated by my mood, and how much I have a need to
socialize. BUT, those are all things that I could have learned just as
easily at home. Oh yeah, convincing my parents to get a membership at
Lifetime—another plus. But once again—not at all related to the trip,
so as a vacation, it was a damn waste of time. As soon as I get home I
need to startup college stuff again. Jason has made no progress with the
“mission” I gave him before I left (to meet new people and to find new
things to do), so I’m really disappointed, but at least things can
change while I’m there. Here there’s absolutely nothing that I can
benefit from.
Three o’clock now… no word yet on how long our
flight’s been delayed. I’m getting bored/annoyed. Whatever the hell…
the plane’s not even here yet.
LOL—I’m just looking at this women and her 2-year-old
looking daughter. The kid has this… harness like thing tied to her
back—it pretty much is a leash that the women can hold on to, while the
kid goes off to the front. Pretty funny, but how must the kid feel? Haha—this
is hilarious. What has parenting fallen to? Goddamn, I need to get out of
here. Haha—child psychology would be an interesting field. Was I ever
that small?
Entry 012
7.9.2003 4:30 MDT
This is utterly retarded. Our plane has been delayed by 3
more hours, now we’re not gonna get Chicago till 9 PM CDT. This sucks,
and what’s worse, I’m beginning to feel that this cycle is not going
to end. This… trap, this hole of wasting time away is not going to end
when I get home, but at least there I could have done something about it.
Here, there’s absolutely nothing I can do. I’m beginning to feel even
worse about this trip, about everything that I was forced to waste my time
doing, and what did I get from it? Worse than nothing, I got a shitload of
stress, pain, and worst of all, lost time. This trip was worth less than
nothing, and now it’s been delayed even more. And it seems like
there’s no end in sight. Even after I get home, this feeling of
hopelessness looks like it’s going to stay. BUT… at least I can do
stuff there. Right now, I’m just trapped in nothingness.
